If Shakespeare were alive, I'd be his fanny-pack.

Somebody recently informed me, that I delve too much in unnecessary melodrama, and that I place too much importance on the creation of tragedy.


I told her to flail not her viper-tongue at me, but instead spend her wicked mind on endeavors more fruitful such as plotting the gruesome death of her first born and pinning it on her mother.


Hmmm.