Saturday, December 25, 2010


Jingle bells,
And you yell,
"Girl! Your ass is fine!"
Then you bed a dude instead,
And wake up in denial.

Jingle bells,
Something smells,
There's vodka on the floor.
You left your underwear behind,
as you ran out through his door,

Jingle Bells,
Something tells,
Me that you were having a good time,
I saw your legs wrapped around his head,
Or wait, maybe they were mine.

In the corridor,
Your girlfriend yells, "You're Gay!"
You shake your head and run,
Because your mama says you ain't!

Jingle bells,
Santa tells,
Me that he gave you your due,
You wished for joy and gaiety,
And now your wish came true.

Merry Christmas Everyone :)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Winter Dreams.

I've been dreaming without sleeping,
It's safer that way,
Because the nightmares are contagious,
I cannot control what they play.

I've been living without breathing,
It's nurturing that way,
Because my decadence is fallacious,
But decadent I will stay.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep,
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat.

I hope it's gonna make you notice,
someone like me.

You know, that I could use somebody.

- Kings of Leon

Friday, December 10, 2010

My Manic & I

You know what's really funny? I've stopped sympathising with anything and everything. Yeah, so it's probably not that funny. Right now, as I type this I have 6 chat boxes open on facebook with different people saying various "Hello"s, "Ssup?"s, "There?"s and even one disgruntled "DIE". I don't even feel guilty about not replying.
I just sigh and shake my head like it's nothing, hover my mouse over the the box for a second and then switch to some funny youtube video. People don't interest me anymore. And yet I get depressed when nobody calls or replies. The thing is, when they do, I ignore them. I only want to be wanted. It's an unending cycle that reaffirms my insecurities, invalidates them, and then makes them all the more apparent. I think it's because I like stepping in and out of the light. The traffic's been rushing past me since forever, and I was supposed to be on a bus to somewhere by now. But instead, I'm still at the bus stop, waiting for a bus that already left, or will never arrive. I don't like making the extra effort to dodge my curfews and meet people really close to me. I lie a lot, and I'm not complaining about it. I only lie when it's justified (i.e someone is being unfair to me) or when I'm feeling particularly defensive/mischievous. Either way, I'm too accustomed to it to feel any remorse. Another example of how I'm closing up on the inside. I don't think I want to date again, ever.
I don't think I want to hear about anyone else's problems ever again either, no matter how much I say otherwise.
Am I turning into my ex?
That's a scary thought.

Yes yes, I'm whining and self-obsessing.

But this is my blog remember?